1. "The greatest fighter to ever live, EVER, is fucking Jon Jones"
  2. "All you little fucking crybabies out there, Jon Jones, ok"
  3. "Jon Jones, pound for pound number one fighter in the world"
  4. "Jon Jones, is ranked number three pound for pound in the world. The most fucking ridiculous, embarassing, STOOPID, know nothing about fucking fighting, ranking of all fucking time."
  5. "Jon Jones is the number one pound for pound fighter in the world, period, end of story."
  6. "To have anybody, above Jon Jones right now, just goes to show, that you know absolutely fucking nothing."
  7. "When all the nuttiness was going on during Covid, and people were rioting and all that shit, Jon Jones was walking around in the streets of his town, like, smacking, uggghhhh, spray paint cans out of kids hands, and being like, "Get your fucking ass home! Stop fucking up my town!"
  1. "There's no debate. Nobody can debate who is the greatest of all time. It's absolutely, positively Jon Jones. He's never lost. No, he's never been beaten in the octagon, ever"
  2. "What I'm saying about Jon Jones is un..DEBATABLE!"
  3. "People aren't giving Jon Jones the respect for pound for pound"
  4. "This fucking guy, destroyed the best heavyweight, in the division, easily, made it look like nothing"
  5. "Jon Jones is the pound for pound best fighter in the world and the greatest fighter fucking ever, period, end of story"
  6. "AND LISTEN TO ME!!! I'M NOT DEFENDING JON JONES!!!"
  7. "No matter what you think of Jon Jones, he's the fucking best ever and he's the pound for pound best fighter in the world"
  8. "HE'S THE POUND FOR POUND BEST FIGHTER IN THE WORLD!"
  1. "These are Fucking Facts!"
  2. "Jon Jones has never lost a fight, ever!"
  3. "As an educated adult, who knows the fight business, you cannot deny, that while Jon Jones is active, he is the greatest fighter in the world"
  4. "It... it... IT'S UNDEBATABLE!"
  5. "Jon Jones is absolutely, positively, the pound for pound best fighter in the world, and probably the greatest fighter of all time, in any sport"
  6. "He will not truly be appreciated until he is gone"
  7. "When Jon Jones gets his hands on you, you're in trouble"
  8. "Jon Jones has a great chin. Jon Jones, is good anywhere the fight goes, and Jon Jones is a killer"
  9. "Jon Jones... Jon Jones!"
  1. "Jon Jones is the baddest dude, to ever do it"
  2. "Ooooooo, that's bad ass! That is fucking bad ass. Look at that card. It's like the king!"
  3. "We got a Jon Jones card that looks like a king! Are you kidding me right now!?"
  4. "Just, guys, le...let me explain something to ya. Jon Jones, is a whole nothe...Jon Jones is... I consider Jon Jones, the greatest, combat fighter of all time"
  5. "Jon Jones, is the nastiest dude, ever, in the history"
  6. "Jon Jones is a killer"
  7. "The whole internet, "ohawwgrhhh Jon Jones is fucking", you know, that I'm up Jon Jones' ass, these are FUCKING FACTS! Facts"
  8. "And since everybody has been such, douchebags, about this, I'm coming out with a nice little, nice little, punch in the face for all you fuckers that think that Jon Jones isn't the greatest of all time"

- Why & What is -
DANA GLAZING JON
- for!? -

The Recent Grippy

With the upcoming fight between Jon Jones and Stipe Miocic, shceduled for sometime in November, a lot of fans have been accusing Jon of beating up an old man and dodging the rightful interim belt holder. This includes the heavyweight interim belt defender himself, Tom Aspinall, even calling the scheduled fight "Jones vs Biden".

During this time, Dana White caught glance of a Pound for Pound (P4P) ranking, with Jon Jones coming in at third place. This was alarming news for Dana, that not only clearly had him flustered, but frazzled him at his gooey inner core.

Dana seeing Jon in third place on that P4P ranking, coupled with the majority of clued up UFC fans calling for Jones to fight the rightful defender of the interim belt, Dana went into some kind of subliminal submission, where he found himself so engrossed in backing Jon, as not just the active P4P number one, but, and I quote Dana, as "the greatest fighter to ever live".

Soon after, several videos emerged of Señor White, seemingly falling in love with the very embodiment of anything Jones has touched or is printed on, such as some kind of holographic collector card, which sure did have Dana standing at attention for his king; Jon.

Around this point, fans started noticing and making comments about how much Dana was glazing Jon. Rolling in quickly thereafter, were delicious memes and videos, of Dana glazing Jon.

Before delving any further into how anyone who doesn't call Jon the number one P4P, knows, and again I quote Mr White, "absolutely fucking nothing about the fight game", and why those reasons are totally unhinged and thus unjustified for Dana, and Dana alone, let us first take a squiz at the term 'glazing', as defined by the 'douchebags of the internet'.

Glazing definition (according to Urban Dictionary):
1. When you are meatriding someone or sucking up to them.
Kid (To Lebron) : "Hi Lebron oh my god I love you, you are the goat and I love you so much"
Random Spectator : "The glazing is insane"
2. Meat-riding someone extremely hard, but it’s usually praising instead of hate.
Me: “jalen green has the nicest hair in the nba, i’m not surprised why so many girls like him”
Everyone: “u glazing hard rn”
3. Another term used when you are on another mans meat
Tyler: bro lebrons my glorious king rn he'e the best
Elijah: You're glazing
4. Mostly used by New Yorkers, glazing means when a person is dickriding another person

As you can see, "glazing" typically refers to an exaggerated or overly enthusiastic endorsement or praise, often to the point of appearing over-the-top to on-lookers. While at the same time, being the one doing the glazing, opens up a whole can of innuendo, or in Dana's case, and again I quote Dana, "up Jon's ass",-uendo, which once again are, and I quote Dana, "Facts!"

This leads to the inevitable question, when glazing someone opens yourself up to such ridicule, why would one want to engage in glazing? More so, why does Dana glaze Jon so frequently?

At this point, Dana White remains steadfast with how much he has leaned into the glazing. The boss man has pulled out a shovel and proceeds to try and dig up a new glazing foundation. Rumor has it, that this new foundation can withstand all the Power Slaps that are launched at it, of course from the douchebags of the internet. This in turn unfortunately means Dana has dirt up to his ears, that even he can't hear how ridiculous some of the glazing incongruities that his mouth forms and pushes out, actually sound.

If Dana White was anything like even the most casual of fans, resulting in him knowing anything about the fight game, he would see the stats show Jon has fought on avaerage, less than once per year in the last decade. With Jon's recent heft upping him to the heavyweight division, he has conveniently only fought one of the active heavyweights during the last 4 plus years. Yet, somehow Jon ended up with the belt, now holding the belt, while not wanting to defend that belt, against the interim champion who has already defended the interim belt.

'Tis confusion for fans, how anyone would call Jon even a top five P4P with those stats, much less the number one, or even the greatest of all time. Almost feels like an accidental drunk hit and run on the P4P rankings.

Because Dana knows Jon Jones has had a lot of bad luck outside of the octagon, he has no issues with people taking beef with Jon, as long as that beef comes with some freshly wringed sauce and confirmation that in terms of pure fighting, Jon should replace Harry Potter books and films with biopics and dossiers of Jon's achievements, that not even a juiced up on the gear, mere mortal would be akin too.

With any luck, a new duo-belt will be announced soon, that comes with two winners. The Glazziest of All Time and the Biggest Allround Lover of Dana, or GOAT and BALD. This belt acts as a modern replacement for the yin yang, where a symbiosis between the two has formed so strongly, that one simply cannot live without the other.

With that said, time to go and enjoy a delicious glazed donut. May the glaze be with you!